At our core
of no self
is the self
or so i heard
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
*This is going nowhere fast, and the connections have not yet fully been articulated, but this is my stream of conciousness. I think it is going to continue to go nowhere fast and like all poor writing, just meanders without really getting to the crux of it... but for now... this is where is my head is at
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When the inspiration moves us ‘brightly,’ as Jerry Garcia would say, the whole paradigm shifts.
In my lifetime, there have been millions of people self governed by the ideation about what they should be doing. What car they should purchase, what job they should be pursuing, what schools their children should be going to, and the like. Yet all of these things are complete illusions based on false notions of expectation that have shaped our realities from day one.
The emotional investments we make in our dramas are much like the seeds we plant in the soil for future cultivation. Many of us think that we are planting orange seeds when in fact apples always grow. Some of us don’t feel like we are even on the farm, yet a growing season still exists each year. Others may feel that they are planting unworthy seeds only to have the harvest yield bountiful but unrecognizable fruits. In some sense, this repetitive process could be described as delusional but there can be no doubt about it that this has been our methodology for moving thru space and time.
In a sense, we are all habitual input machines. Inputs are stored in our CPUs and later accessed during recall sessions and critical decision making moments. It is our very habits that have been both the source of comfort in our routines as well as the fodder for an unexpected yield. Perhaps a closer look at our expectations might reveal something substantial about the world in which we navigate.
Where is the seed of the expectation? What is at the heart of every expectation is an emotional response. We are all looking in some ways for fulfillment and sometimes the pursuit of these expectations by others leave us with more questions than answers.
Perhaps Pavlov was correct and we are all dogs waiting for the bell to ring so that we can salivate on cue. What happens more often than perhaps we care to admit is that while our initial reaction is habituated, it is also predicated on false pretenses, because our expectations have collectively led to disappointment, discouragement, and doubt.
I do not know if disappointment, discouragement and doubt are things that we should avoid, but they seem like so many of the things that we actually do try to avoid. Yet, It is the very crux of disappointment, the face of discouragement, and the Bardo of doubt that truly and reflectively shapes our experience and future expectations.
We have the power to ‘light the song,’ yet we continually extinguish the flame before the song is ever played. Many of us are trying to listen for the secret and search for the sound but our listening itself is shaped by the expectations we have of the music not yet played.
-----------------------------------
When the inspiration moves us ‘brightly,’ as Jerry Garcia would say, the whole paradigm shifts.
In my lifetime, there have been millions of people self governed by the ideation about what they should be doing. What car they should purchase, what job they should be pursuing, what schools their children should be going to, and the like. Yet all of these things are complete illusions based on false notions of expectation that have shaped our realities from day one.
The emotional investments we make in our dramas are much like the seeds we plant in the soil for future cultivation. Many of us think that we are planting orange seeds when in fact apples always grow. Some of us don’t feel like we are even on the farm, yet a growing season still exists each year. Others may feel that they are planting unworthy seeds only to have the harvest yield bountiful but unrecognizable fruits. In some sense, this repetitive process could be described as delusional but there can be no doubt about it that this has been our methodology for moving thru space and time.
In a sense, we are all habitual input machines. Inputs are stored in our CPUs and later accessed during recall sessions and critical decision making moments. It is our very habits that have been both the source of comfort in our routines as well as the fodder for an unexpected yield. Perhaps a closer look at our expectations might reveal something substantial about the world in which we navigate.
Where is the seed of the expectation? What is at the heart of every expectation is an emotional response. We are all looking in some ways for fulfillment and sometimes the pursuit of these expectations by others leave us with more questions than answers.
Perhaps Pavlov was correct and we are all dogs waiting for the bell to ring so that we can salivate on cue. What happens more often than perhaps we care to admit is that while our initial reaction is habituated, it is also predicated on false pretenses, because our expectations have collectively led to disappointment, discouragement, and doubt.
I do not know if disappointment, discouragement and doubt are things that we should avoid, but they seem like so many of the things that we actually do try to avoid. Yet, It is the very crux of disappointment, the face of discouragement, and the Bardo of doubt that truly and reflectively shapes our experience and future expectations.
We have the power to ‘light the song,’ yet we continually extinguish the flame before the song is ever played. Many of us are trying to listen for the secret and search for the sound but our listening itself is shaped by the expectations we have of the music not yet played.
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